Happy New Shit 🥂

I Die Each Day The World Is So Normal...

*Disclaimer: Article originally published January 6, 2024

My first published words for 2024, may they find refuge and company in your heart (and your soul)

So it’s 2024…And before I have to assume my role, and play my part in faking normalcy on any platform (i.e. publishing A+ professional content, even if I do say so myself 🤓), I want (need) to say the following…

‘Your regularly scheduled programming will resume after this message’ (okay seriously here we go, the actual following…)

I am a Palestinian refugee 🇵🇸 (Grandparents uprooted in 1948, my dad’s family hailing originally from the city of Jaffa, mom Akka)

Mama was born in Lebanon, Baba was a 3 year old child when they were forced to escape on foot to Beirut, walking the almost 220 kilometer stretch to their unknown fate

My grandparents died before my siblings and I were born (the mere minor inconveniences of war & such, and so I just used my vivid imagination (sourced mostly from tv and books) on what I thought/wished mine would be like and how much they would love and like me if they only knew me, because let’s face it, if you’ve met me you know how much I like to put out disclaimers on my personally perceived awesomeness 🤓)

The tentacles of war had unfortunately found us all the way in Lebanon when Israel invaded in 1982. Mama lost her mother, elder sister (along with all her family members but for her one son Haitham, he was 11 years old). They were hiding in a building’s underground shelter when the missiles nonetheless reached them, they suffered severe burns all over their bodies and although treated at a hospital soon after they all succumbed to their injuries and passed. My mother at the time was frantically following the news in all channels (Arabic and foreign) and reaching out to the Red Cross & Red Crescent for hope of some news of her family, when one day while watching the news she saw them being rescued from the shelter, their bodies severely burnt cloaked in white sheets .. and well you know how that story ended…

My parents were issued Palestinian refugee travel documents by the Lebanese that entitled them to let’s just say .. a somewhat limited existence in that country… not allowed to work or study in government schools or buy property to register in their name. They were however able to obtain free basic education up to a secondary level (6th grade) through UNRWA established schools, a UN agency established in 1949 by the UN General Assembly to aid over 5.5 million Palestinian refugees. My parents were unable to pursue further schooling, high school / college / university etc. as they simply could not afford it…

Mama left Lebanon to the UAE 1974 (3 years after the Emirates was formed) where she had secured a job at ADNOC (Abu Dhabi National Oil Company). She was able to get my dad (her soon-to-be-husband) an interview which then translated to his successful employment and residence in the region (he moved to Abu Dhabi in 1983). They got married in Abu Dhabi and my elder sister Nahla, myself (Naj in the middle action 🤓), younger brother Karim were born there

The UAE became my home for 25 years, I ‘knew’ of my true home but had/have never actually witnessed it. My parents didn’t speak much about their/our past (even today) and so we drudged on, curating new lives and better futures to the best of our abilities and knowledge

And this brings me to present day, the continued onslaught of Gaza and the deplorable dehumanization of Palestinians to-date. This suffering cannot be normalized, rationalized or excused, and yet somehow we continue to shamelessly and aimlessly watch it as though we are parading through some poorly scripted Netflix reality show (of which trust me, I have unfortunately watched my fair share of)

And for those in this world that can fathom or ignore these real life horrors, these historic human tolls, then I simply do not have the words to utter back, because we are talking about things like women giving birth without water, painkillers, anesthesia, electricity for incubators or medical supplies. Mothers forced to mix baby formula with contaminated water to feed their children something. Famine and starvation across civilian households. Insufficient access to warm clothing or space. Outbreaks and spread of disease. Sleeping on the streets with no shelter. And so on. And so forth. But here’s the kicker. You already know all this, because you too have the power of the internet at your fingertips as much as my AT&T subscription affords me. And yet where are your deliberate words or actions to help sway a better future for them, for us, for ALL of us?

So humor me please, when you eat or drink today, when you feel warmth coursing through your veins be it via shelter, clothing, protection or simple human fucking embrace, you think of us. You really fucking think of us. And I pray what you do next brings some sliver of peace, of humanity, of compassion, of a life of actual purpose because right now I am having an extremely difficult time believing this world deserves existing at all

Happy 2024 (from my broken heart & family) to yours…

May they be less shattered than ours 🙏

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